Hill Billy BBQ and many photos of Henry Rollins

As I was scouring the internet...

                                                                                                                                I found this.

A really bad-ass movie still of Henry Rollins. I just had to find out what film this was, after a very small amount of research I found out that this still was from Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, and I just had to rent it. SO, Eaten Alive is on the back burner, and this is my experience with Wrong Turn 2.

Wrong turn is very obviously borrowing heavily from the Hills Have Eyes franchise, backwoods inbred cannibals preying on promiscuous young adults, and Henry Rollins in this case.

Who is someone you wouldn't really want to fuck with, even if you were an inbred cannibal. SO, this is my live-while-watching-the-film-blog.

- Some star complaining to her agent about shitty directions for the backwoods of West Virginia, is told by her agent that she, "Can't afford to take a wrong turn." AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

- She just ran over someone, some mutant, and he JSUT BIT HER FACE OFF, oh there's a guy with an axe, OH GOD SHE WAS JUST CUT IN HALF...vertically.

- Ooh Henry Rollins, okay he's playing a host of a reality show, he's an ex marine, a bunch of attractive people are being thrown into a post-apocalyptic survivor show.

- Some guy was wearing a "Battle Royale" shirt.

- "You're the producer pop-tart!" - Henry Rollins

- Some guy taking a piss just got scalped.

- So far there are the usual slasher film characters, The Rookie, The Expert, The Horny Goofball, The Anti-Society Solitary one, The Megalomaniac Director, The Slutty Girl, The Black Football Player and much much more.

- Henry Rollins was just knocked out by a cannibal, but only after dodging a fuck-ton of arrows and throwing a knife like 50 feet into some guy's torso.

- OH, the first bra has come off.

- The director is receiving head from the Slutty cast member, it's really too bad he didn't make "Mike from the room" faces, the best kind of blow job face.

"Me Underwears"

- I'm sorry I couldn't find the blow job shot from the room, that should suffice though.

- "PENDEJO".

- Anything in quotations is a line from the film, I will say when it's spoken by Henry.

- Henry just woke up in a mutant camp, he is hanging upside down, being intimidated by a deformed guy with a knife.

-  Someone just got axed in the head.

- Rolins is free, and he's battling a mutant.

- He just blew some guy away with a shotgun.

- Contestants have been unknowingly eating human flesh at a fire pit in the woods.

- "You so much as fart old man, and I'll kill you!" -Henry Rollins

- Some old guy with the best toothless accent ever is telling Rollins about the backstory of these woods.

- The old guy is the patriarch of the family, Rollins is laying down the law on him, just BLEW THE FUCK OUT OF THE OLD MAN with dynamite and spewed out some fitting one liner referencing the old timer's dead wife. "Say hello to the missus for me."

- Depraved backwoods sex scene with inbred hillbillies, trying to confuse the contestants of something because the female mutant is wearing a dead contestant skin mask, I dunno, really convoluted.

- Oh no atheletes bad shoulder is acting up, needs to be put back into place.

-Rollins is MacGivering dynamite, and going all arnie, just camouflaged his face and gave the Rollins stare.

- Oh yeah, a barrel of chemical waste labelled chemical waste with green leaking out of it. 

- Okay, every surviving contestant is being held captive, and it's all up to Henry Rollins to save them. I never thought I would say that, and I never though I would be able to see a movie this great.

- DYNAMITE ARROW HOLY SHIT

- "Oorah." -Henry Rollins

- Oh no, Rollins has been shot twice with arrows.

- "That's all you got bitch!" - Henry Rollins

- Okay, he's dead, and I'm sad.

- A mutant just got CGI wood chipped.

- Oh, toxic waste, seeping back into the environment, more mutations I guess.

Well, that raps up this incredible movie experience. I promise to put ties up in my next post.

TOBE LIKE GOB!!

Watched "Eaten Alive" by Tobe (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) Hooper. Hopefully Tobe is pronounced like GOB.

                          "Hey look,

                             a seagull!"

Made two years after the Massacre, Eaten Alive takes place in a decrepit hotel some Louisiana swamp. When a prostitute refuses to receive anal sex from Robert (Freddy Kruger) Englund, she gets thrown out on the street by the owner and with nowhere to go, plans on spending the night at the swamp hotel. However her plans are brutally fucking massacred when she meets the rapey owner of the hotel and is severely injured by a pitchfork thing during the ensuing attempted rape. The hotel owner then feeds her to the african crocodile living in the swamp. A family shows up to the hotel and has their dog eaten by the crocodile. The young daughter is traumatized by this, and the family rents a room and puts the daughter to bed. The lighting for the film becomes sex shop red, and the father starts to babble about how the wife is gouging his eyes out while he takes some prescription medication. The family of the murdered prostitute comes by the hotel looking for her, and all hell breaks loose. For the next hour the owner chases everyone around as they come and go form the hotel with what is honestly the worst weapon ever for a slasher film killer, like worse then a chainsaw. He caries this fucking monstrosity around,

trying to kill people but miserably failing. Honestly, it takes him like 45 minutes to attempt to kill a little girl. The scythe gives you no manoeuvrability, a machete is 100 times better, even Freddy's knife glove can do better than that. SO, at the small video store I am currently employed at we have some pretty cool shit, my next watch will be another film called Eaten Alive I have seen among the horror DVDs. This time it's an italian film from the 80s exploiting that cannibal tribe phenomenon that influenced films from that time. Also I should have some pictures of bitching ties up soon as I so far have failed to keep that end of the bargain up or something.